Monday, March 28, 2022

Armed & Ready

 

photo credit: freeimages

Though the tears
I’ve seen the other side
There’s nothing to hide
Just years going by
 

Take the tears let go of pain 
Most don’t understand
The thing is I’m a broken man
Just trying to hold  onto sanity
 

I  try  hiding the fear inside
There’s nothing left to hide
My life is one of loneliness
Pain- disappointment
 

But I am a warrior I fight
Not out of anger but for the right
I fight for basic survival
It’s a day too day battle
 

But I’m armed an ready
I hold strong and steady

Sunday, March 20, 2022

Let Me Introduce Myself

 

photo credit: istock

Let me introduce myself—- I’m 60 years old. Married ! I guess it’s the first time I have ever thought of writing and sharing it with anyone::: let alone on a blog. 

I am confined to a wheelchair! Have been since June of 2018. Everything started in May of that year.  My wife was hit by a car doing her crossing guard duties—- she was air lifted to UVA hospital—then June 1st I collapsed at home and was taken to our local hospital.  The last thing I remember is May 30th, after that I spent a week in ICU.  They then thought I was stable enough to transport me to UVA. 

I don’t remember much of June but I finally became aware of where I was shortly after.  I spent 4 1/2 months in and out of ICU! I went into septic shock and had surgery to remove my left hip!  They also removed my artificial shoulder and cleaned it up and put it back in place during the process of inpatient hospitalization. 

I found out I have cirrhosis of the liver.  As if that was not enough, I found out I also had Parkinson’s.  Needless to say it was a bad 4 1/2 months.  Once I was released the journey was only beginning. 

I will share more as time goes by.  Feel free to ask questions!

Friday, March 18, 2022

Another Day

photo credit: freeimages

 

Here I lay  not much to say
It’s another day of the same 
Loneliness— fear—pain
Yeah most people just walk by
I hold back the tears I won’t cry


There’s no  escaping
There’s no running away
There’s little to say
And people just don’t care
They say nothing just stare

 
It’s as if I don’t exist
I don’t understand this
Yes I am disabled not dead 
So get that thru your head

Monday, January 31, 2022

Streets of Madness

 

photo credit: freeimages

As I walked the streets of madness
As my mind followed its own path
I have walked a path 
On a rocky road  
 
Thought it would straighten out
But it never did so I continue walking
Gotten so high but still couldn’t fly
Gotten so low felt I was going to die
 
But I’m still here hanging on
I’m still here just surviving
I’m still here just trying 
 
I’m watching life on the mend
Maybe I’ll give it all a try again

Night in September

photo credit: freeimages

You ask if I remember 
That night in September
Long ago well yes I do

Days were hell
The nights were  extreme 
A fight between life an death
Trying to keep my sanity

But it’s becoming more difficult
With Each passing moment
I die a little more each day
Disappearing into  the  darkness 

So weary so much pain
Will it ever let me be
Will I ever be set free 

I am forever In this prison
A prisoner forever locked away
So I fight so I stand alone
Forever seeking my home

Safety comfort and freedom
It’s seems I am fading
Fading fading away

I have stepped to the edge
Contemplating the end
But there you were my friend 

Embracing an holding onto you
Knowing that you love me
Knowing your incredible gift
Giving your life for mine

Unlocking the chains
Opening the door to this prison
A prisoner in a prison
Self made

Sunday, January 30, 2022

A Special Friend

photo credit: freeimages

I most recently found a friend
Someone who believes
Believes in me
A friend  a true friend 

I’m  finding encouragement  
Encouragement on a daily
It’s a rarity in this troubled time
To find a real an true friend

One  where I don’t need to pretend
One that instills hope again 
For that I say thank you

Thank you  my special friend

You were in the gap
The gap between  life and death
The gap between hope and despair
Someone who takes the time to care
So thank you thank you again 
For being that special friend

That friend who builds me up
That friend who  is always there
I don’t need to worry i  don’t need to care
In case you haven’t realized that special friend is you

Happiness & Joy

photo credit:  freeimages

Happiness and joy
These are what I’m seeking
Often I’ve looked into the past
However what I’m seeking isn’t Found  

What I want is peace of mind an body
But it doesn’t come easily
But I seek the happiness
That simple feeling of being wanted

Mine has been a rough walk
But I walked it standing tall
I gave it my all
Till I was given out
So here I am broken

But I still believe the words
The words written in red