Here We Go Again

 

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Here we go again
Used once again
By someone considered a friend
When will it ever end

I may put too much into friendship
That’s why I feel used by it
Wouldn’t you tell me true
For me a friend is worth my life
Worth the toll and strife 

What about you , I ask you
Please share a moment or few
Like we once did me and you
But instead you leave me dead
Messed up within my head
I ask why do you do what you do

Here it goes again
Once close once a friend
Here it goes again
Are you, are you not a friend
Please don’t  pretend

It only confuses me
locks me away stealing my freedom
There are holes, holes I fall thru
I try to fight gathering

Little Boy Blue

 

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Little boy blue if you only knew
The road you would travel
The way your life would unravel
The abuse you would endure
The healing you would experience
How sadness an joy become one
Memories of things gone
Living with things undone 

Little boy blue
What are you going to do
Some wounds are new
Others have slowly healed
Through the path you walk
Through the words you talk
You show pain through your eyes
You show hurt through your tears

Little boy blue if you only knew
Those you have touched
Those you have inspired
All the while unable to to help yourself
Unable find your own peace

The Light in the Tunnel

 

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Starting over
I feel life slipping by
It brings tears to cry
The man I once was stands no longer
I’m growing weaker rather than stronger
The days blend together they never end
Reliving memories time an time again 

Sometimes it hard to find a friend
Its difficult to tell
So I slip a little more each day
I guess it’s the price you pay
For starting over

I feel I’m losing control
Losing that person I was
Now I  am reaching the point
The point I no longer care

It’s  4:30 I lie here in pain
Each day is all the same
Pain - frustration an more pain
Are my constant companions
I try hard to fight the light in the tunnel

I Fly Low

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I fly low no idea where to go
So I land here and there
Just seeking peace of mind
something to give me hope
Something to give me strength
Someone to give and receive
someone to let me be me

The days of my youth gone
These days I fight too remember
People and places fade daily
There’s some big things fading
Like  what day or where I am

Finally changing the channel
But it’s getting harder to handle
The golden days that once were
Have come and gone
I struggle with all I have
To find the person I  once was
Only to be faced with the man in the mirror

Two Together

 

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May I take a moment
A moment to share my pain
Something I normally hide
Keeping it hidden deep inside 

I awake and go to bed
With pain over taking my head
Thinking I’d be better off dead

But like the many times before
I just pull things together
I’m tougher than leather
Or so I have been told

Some say I’m hard to hold
So rather than try ask why
Why not come closer
Why not give some friendship 

Admit that two together
Is better than one walking alone
You may find that we both
Have something to give
Given the chance to give

Last Days

 

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The Sky is blood red 
Something is happening
The Sky is blood Red
Millions lay dead 

The killer is quiet, deadly
The screams , the tears
But no one slept , not one
Locked inside hiding in fear

What is  loose ,,, no one knows
Stores closing! Storage of food
Neighbors against neighbor
The selection has begun

No one,  not one is immune
The selection has  begun
Streets are a blaze
Is this the last days

Lady of Peace

 

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There’s a lady spreading peace
Her smile will keep you steadfast
Her spirit radiates sunshine
Her smile warms your soul 

You will know her by her words
Theres’s a lady spreading peace
Sharing her self without question
Rejoice in her vision

Vision of harmony
Vision of peace of mind
That’s my friend 

She’s a lady of compassion
She’s a lady of strength 
Simply by her words comes joy
So share her vision  

A vision of warmth-growth
A vision of universal love 💗
So share her vision 

Voices

 

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Voices deep within my head
Telling me better off dead
The monsters live under my bed
They forever haunt me
Never letting me go
My every thought they know  

They hold the keys to my prison
Eternally locking away the sun
I am constantly on the run
Running from the demons
Running from myself
I feel there’s nothing left
But to exit the situation 

So I sit one bullet one gun
Waiting on what must be done
End the voices end the nightmares
With this I will finally be free
My question is why
Why can’t others see
The defect within me

Experience the pain the turmoil
The long suffering
I was born with the understanding
That demons can be both
Enemy and friend
One must come to grasp
That they are both
Enemy an friend

Choices

 

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My question I ask
Do you ever see the tears I cry
Do you ever ask yourself why
Well let me tell you 

So much as been taken
Much more has been lost
So the life I have been living
Has most certainly come with cost

The cost  have at times
Left me empty left me in despair
Sending me searching for peace
But where an when
Will it come to be

Free in mind soul and body
Something anything to take away the pain
The dragons have come an gone
But no matter I will carry on  

Carry memories-scars and pain
I wonder if it will ever end
I hold onto the little sanity 
The sanity comes and goes 

There are no awesome days
Just the ones that I get by
Some days are diamonds
Others are throw away days
But they all are my days

My days to either win or lose
It’s up to me to choose

Thinking

 

 

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Here I sit just thinking just thinking
I’ve given up drinking
Way too much time wasted
What was I thinking

It started with one or two
Then it was a few here a few there
It slowly took over
It became a crutch a needed item

With each drink I lost more of me 
Till there was no more me
I had vanished into a bottle
I was weakened with each drink
What was I thinking

Becoming less and less free
Imprisoned in a cage made by me
What was i thinking

A prison that locked me away
Away from friends away from family
All the while I didn’t see
The monster I was becoming
Vague memories of the man I was

Music Fan

 

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I’m a fan of music
Sit an listen to it play
24 hours  maybe more a day

There is the Beatles let it be
Marshall Tucker can’t you see
I’m a fan of music
Ray Willie Hubbard
David Allen Coe
Willie Nelson
Listen to them all don’t ya know

I’m a fan of music
Buffetts let’s get drunk an screw
I love Emmylou
Without them don’t know what ill do

I’m a fan of music
Rock n roll, country an blues
I’m hillbilly down to my shoes
George Jones , Elvis , Johnny Cash
I’m a fan of music