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| image credit: freeimages |
Life an compassion
Both are out of fashion
People trample one another
Turn their backs on each other
Don’t have time for a smile
They keep going never knowing
Deep pain you’re never showing
Not realizing that a smile
Could help you hold on awhile
The words of compassion
Are still out of fashion
And life is a daily struggle
A struggle with self and others
So walk another path
So do the figuring do the math
It’s your time to shine
Bring back life bring back compassion
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| image credit: freeimages |
Little boy in the mirror
How did you get here from there
I know the path wasn’t all grass
I know you fell on you ass
More than a time or two
But most importantly you got up
most importantly you got free you’re no longer a prisoner
You’re no longer enslaved enslaved to the things of old
You have fought for freedom
You have fought to be the best
Stand out from the rest
Little boy in the mirror
Now that you have arrived
Now that you have survived
Was the walk worth the steps
Or were your dreams misplaced
Your time a waste
Will you ever really know
Will the scars cease to show
The pain you’ve suffered
The joy you come to show
The freedom you come to know
Have you rejoiced where you are
Your strength has carried you
Showed you what to and not do
Your journey although rough
Showed you to be tough
Little boy in the mirror
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| image credit: freeimages |
Love an trust it’s a given must
We all need love an trust
We climb high mountains
Just trying to obtain
Love and trust
Love an trust it’s a given must
It’s often broken down
Broken down to sex and lust
Lost dreams and disappointments
Love and trust
Love an trust it’s a given must
We struggle we barely survive
Often times barely alive
But we overcome we adjust
Love and trust
Love an trust it’s a given must
So if you can regain trust
So if you can regain love
Count yourself among the lucky
Let go of the pain
Rejoice in the love an trust
image credit: freeimages
A multitude of fears
And rivers of tears
Have fueled the rage
Keeping him locked in a cage
Imprisoning the lonely man
Living in a loveless land
A place no one understands
So many hold the key
The key to set him free
Let him become all he can be
But they look, they look away
Having no time for him today
So many hold the key
The key to set him free
Locked away he stumbles thru
Looking for the next best clue
A clue to the man within
Will he ever be sane again
Or remain locked away in the cage
Consumed an filled with rage
A multitude of fears
And rivers of tears
Have fueled the rage
Keeping him locked in a cage
Imprisoning the lonely man
image credit: freeimages
I ask but to no avail
Can’t you hear me scream
Can’t you hear me yell
I ask but to no avail
I’m locked into a world
A world of hurt an constant pain
Sorrow an tears unfurled
Disparities an inequalities abound
No justice can be found
I ask but to no avail
Can’t you hear me scream
Can’t you hear me yell
I ask but to no avail
The walls grow mightier
My strength has dwindled
The flame is rekindle
For mine is the battle
No justice can be found
I ask but to no avail
Can’t you hear me scream
Can’t you hear me yell
I ask but to no avail
Death grows closer
I find myself without fear
My days are finished here
Accomplishment neither here or there
But peace abounds within me
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| image credit: freeimages |
God it hurts to be human
Without you I would rather die
Do you hear me cry
Do you think we can try
Try try try again
God it hurts to be human
I am so afraid to lose
Don’t know what or who to choose
I am so confused
Try try try again
God it hurts to be human
Unhappiness takes control
I search everywhere
But the journey is taking a toll
Try try try again
God it hurts to be human
Please lessen the pain
Please lessen the scars
Make it all feel the same
Try try try again
God it hurts to be human
Hurts to look in the mirrors
Don’t you see my tears
Don’t you see my fears
Try try try again
God it hurts to be human
The monsters under my bed
The monsters within my head
The monsters they want me dead
Try try try again
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| image credit: freeimages |
Don’t underestimate
How we relate
You are More than just a friend
We’re brothers down to the skin
You carry me, I carry you
It’s just what we do
Thru thick an thin
Time an time again
Brothers that’s what we are!
Don’t underestimate
I want to thank you
Thank you for all you do
All you don’t
For just being you!
It’s been hell , i stumbled I fell
But you were there, you reached down
You picked me up from the ground
Brushed me off gave me a hug
Set me on the path again
Now that’s why we friends
Why we are brothers
Close like no others
It’s been hell I stumbled I fell
I want to thank you
Thank you for all you do
All you don’t
For just being you!
You have been there for
That gentle hug that tough kick
That godly example
That all in all there to pick me up from the fall
You have been there
I want to thank you
Thank you for all you do
All you don’t
For just being you!
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| image credit: freeimages |
Here we go again
Used once again
By someone considered a friend
When will it ever end
I may put too much into friendship
That’s why I feel used by it
Wouldn’t you tell me true
For me a friend is worth my life
Worth the toll and strife
What about you , I ask you
Please share a moment or few
Like we once did me and you
But instead you leave me dead
Messed up within my head
I ask why do you do what you do
Here it goes again
Once close once a friend
Here it goes again
Are you, are you not a friend
Please don’t pretend
It only confuses me
locks me away stealing my freedom
There are holes, holes I fall thru
I try to fight gathering
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| image credit: freeimages |
Little boy blue if you only knew
The road you would travel
The way your life would unravel
The abuse you would endure
The healing you would experience
How sadness an joy become one
Memories of things gone
Living with things undone
Little boy blue
What are you going to do
Some wounds are new
Others have slowly healed
Through the path you walk
Through the words you talk
You show pain through your eyes
You show hurt through your tears
Little boy blue if you only knew
Those you have touched
Those you have inspired
All the while unable to to help yourself
Unable find your own peace
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| image credit: freeimages |
Starting over
I feel life slipping by
It brings tears to cry
The man I once was stands no longer
I’m growing weaker rather than stronger
The days blend together they never end
Reliving memories time an time again
Sometimes it hard to find a friend
Its difficult to tell
So I slip a little more each day
I guess it’s the price you pay
For starting over
I feel I’m losing control
Losing that person I was
Now I am reaching the point
The point I no longer care
It’s 4:30 I lie here in pain
Each day is all the same
Pain - frustration an more pain
Are my constant companions
I try hard to fight the light in the tunnel
image credit: freeimages
I fly low no idea where to go
So I land here and there
Just seeking peace of mind
something to give me hope
Something to give me strength
Someone to give and receive
someone to let me be me
The days of my youth gone
These days I fight too remember
People and places fade daily
There’s some big things fading
Like what day or where I am
Finally changing the channel
But it’s getting harder to handle
The golden days that once were
Have come and gone
I struggle with all I have
To find the person I once was
Only to be faced with the man in the mirror
image credit: freeimages
May I take a moment
A moment to share my pain
Something I normally hide
Keeping it hidden deep inside
I awake and go to bed
With pain over taking my head
Thinking I’d be better off dead
But like the many times before
I just pull things together
I’m tougher than leather
Or so I have been told
Some say I’m hard to hold
So rather than try ask why
Why not come closer
Why not give some friendship
Admit that two together
Is better than one walking alone
You may find that we both
Have something to give
Given the chance to give
image credit: freeimages
The Sky is blood red
Something is happening
The Sky is blood Red
Millions lay dead
The killer is quiet, deadly
The screams , the tears
But no one slept , not one
Locked inside hiding in fear
What is loose ,,, no one knows
Stores closing! Storage of food
Neighbors against neighbor
The selection has begun
No one, not one is immune
The selection has begun
Streets are a blaze
Is this the last days
image credit: freeimages
There’s a lady spreading peace
Her smile will keep you steadfast
Her spirit radiates sunshine
Her smile warms your soul
You will know her by her words
Theres’s a lady spreading peace
Sharing her self without question
Rejoice in her vision
Vision of harmony
Vision of peace of mind
That’s my friend
She’s a lady of compassion
She’s a lady of strength
Simply by her words comes joy
So share her vision
A vision of warmth-growth
A vision of universal love 💗
So share her vision
image credit: freeimages
Voices deep within my head
Telling me better off dead
The monsters live under my bed
They forever haunt me
Never letting me go
My every thought they know
They hold the keys to my prison
Eternally locking away the sun
I am constantly on the run
Running from the demons
Running from myself
I feel there’s nothing left
But to exit the situation
So I sit one bullet one gun
Waiting on what must be done
End the voices end the nightmares
With this I will finally be free
My question is why
Why can’t others see
The defect within me
Experience the pain the turmoil
The long suffering
I was born with the understanding
That demons can be both
Enemy and friend
One must come to grasp
That they are both
Enemy an friend
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| image credit: freeimages |
My question I ask
Do you ever see the tears I cry
Do you ever ask yourself why
Well let me tell you
So much as been taken
Much more has been lost
So the life I have been living
Has most certainly come with cost
The cost have at times
Left me empty left me in despair
Sending me searching for peace
But where an when
Will it come to be
Free in mind soul and body
Something anything to take away the pain
The dragons have come an gone
But no matter I will carry on
Carry memories-scars and pain
I wonder if it will ever end
I hold onto the little sanity
The sanity comes and goes
There are no awesome days
Just the ones that I get by
Some days are diamonds
Others are throw away days
But they all are my days
My days to either win or lose
It’s up to me to choose
image credit: freeimages
Here I sit just thinking just thinking
I’ve given up drinking
Way too much time wasted
What was I thinking
It started with one or two
Then it was a few here a few there
It slowly took over
It became a crutch a needed item
With each drink I lost more of me
Till there was no more me
I had vanished into a bottle
I was weakened with each drink
What was I thinking
Becoming less and less free
Imprisoned in a cage made by me
What was i thinking
A prison that locked me away
Away from friends away from family
All the while I didn’t see
The monster I was becoming
Vague memories of the man I was
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| image credit: freeimages |
I’m a fan of music
Sit an listen to it play
24 hours maybe more a day
There is the Beatles let it be
Marshall Tucker can’t you see
I’m a fan of music
Ray Willie Hubbard
David Allen Coe
Willie Nelson
Listen to them all don’t ya know
I’m a fan of music
Buffetts let’s get drunk an screw
I love Emmylou
Without them don’t know what ill do
I’m a fan of music
Rock n roll, country an blues
I’m hillbilly down to my shoes
George Jones , Elvis , Johnny Cash
I’m a fan of music
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| photo credit: freeimages |
Though the tears
I’ve seen the other side
There’s nothing to hide
Just years going by
Take the tears let go of pain
Most don’t understand
The thing is I’m a broken man
Just trying to hold onto sanity
I try hiding the fear inside
There’s nothing left to hide
My life is one of loneliness
Pain- disappointment
But I am a warrior I fight
Not out of anger but for the right
I fight for basic survival
It’s a day too day battle
But I’m armed an ready
I hold strong and steady
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| photo credit: istock |
Let me introduce myself—- I’m 60 years old. Married ! I guess it’s the first time I have ever thought of writing and sharing it with anyone::: let alone on a blog.
I am confined to a wheelchair! Have been since June of 2018. Everything started in May of that year. My wife was hit by a car doing her crossing guard duties—- she was air lifted to UVA hospital—then June 1st I collapsed at home and was taken to our local hospital. The last thing I remember is May 30th, after that I spent a week in ICU. They then thought I was stable enough to transport me to UVA.
I don’t remember much of June but I finally became aware of where I was shortly after. I spent 4 1/2 months in and out of ICU! I went into septic shock and had surgery to remove my left hip! They also removed my artificial shoulder and cleaned it up and put it back in place during the process of inpatient hospitalization.
I found out I have cirrhosis of the liver. As if that was not enough, I found out I also had Parkinson’s. Needless to say it was a bad 4 1/2 months. Once I was released the journey was only beginning.
I will share more as time goes by. Feel free to ask questions!
photo credit: freeimages
Here I lay not much to say
It’s another day of the same
Loneliness— fear—pain
Yeah most people just walk by
I hold back the tears I won’t cry
There’s no escaping
There’s no running away
There’s little to say
And people just don’t care
They say nothing just stare
It’s as if I don’t exist
I don’t understand this
Yes I am disabled not dead
So get that thru your head
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| photo credit: freeimages |
photo credit: freeimages |
Days were hell
The nights were extreme
A fight between life an death
Trying to keep my sanity
But it’s becoming more difficult
With Each passing moment
I die a little more each day
Disappearing into the darkness
So weary so much pain
Will it ever let me be
Will I ever be set free
I am forever In this prison
A prisoner forever locked away
So I fight so I stand alone
Forever seeking my home
Safety comfort and freedom
It’s seems I am fading
Fading fading away
I have stepped to the edge
Contemplating the end
But there you were my friend
Embracing an holding onto you
Knowing that you love me
Knowing your incredible gift
Giving your life for mine
Unlocking the chains
Opening the door to this prison
A prisoner in a prison
Self made
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| photo credit: freeimages |
I most recently found a friend
Someone who believes
Believes in me
A friend a true friend
I’m finding encouragement
Encouragement on a daily
It’s a rarity in this troubled time
To find a real an true friend
One where I don’t need to pretend
One that instills hope again
For that I say thank you
Thank you my special friend
You were in the gap
The gap between life and death
The gap between hope and despair
Someone who takes the time to care
So thank you thank you again
For being that special friend
That friend who builds me up
That friend who is always there
I don’t need to worry i don’t need to care
In case you haven’t realized that special friend is you
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| photo credit: freeimages |
What I want is peace of mind an body
But it doesn’t come easily
But I seek the happiness
That simple feeling of being wanted
Mine has been a rough walk
But I walked it standing tall
I gave it my all
Till I was given out
So here I am broken
But I still believe the words
The words written in red
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| photo credit: freeimages |
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
You see the monsters
You stare at the floor
A special place nothing more?
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
You hear the voices
They give you no choices
A special place nothing more?
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
You’re locked away
You visit you don’t stay
A special place nothing more
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
They carefully medicate
It’s a game they make you wait
A special place nothing more
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
They give you a number not a name
With the medications they dull the pain
A special place nothing more
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
You suffer in quiet abandonment
Prisoners within walls of cement
A special place nothing more
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
A prison for some a home for others
Come on in my sisters and brothers
A special place nothing more
Views from the 5th floor
A special place nothing more
I place for the Krazy to explore
Come on in shut the door
A special place nothing more
image credit: freeimages
Johnny can’t buy a drink
Johnny can’t cast a vote
But he can fight in your war
A war that he didn’t start
A war that’s destroyed his heart
We’ve made Johnny a killer
Now there’s no hope
We’ve made Johnny a killer
Holding on with a armful of dope
More dead than alive
Johnny’s just trying to survive
When the flashbacks come
And they certainly will
It will be another late night
Darkness and fear he’s so alone
Cold sweats and regrets
Survival has become a way of life
whiskey and a handful of pills
Whatever it takes to get numb
Whatever it takes to overcome
Johnny's doing whatever he can
He’s trying to stand tall
All the while headed for a fall
We’ve made Johnny a killer
And he can’t even vote
And he can’t resist a drink
Johnny just doesn’t want to think
Johnny just doesn’t want to kill
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| photo credit: freeimages |
Death and fear were common
No one was immune not one
From where the hell did this come
All I know is it has us on the run
Coming more and more undone
But there seems to be no escape
Mankind has come under attack
And there’s no looking back
So be forewarned be caution
The fate of mankind is on the brink
Take heed take a moment think
Grasp a hand give some kindness
It’s past time we let love find us
It’s past time we learn to trust
So go forth with courage
It’s time to turn the page
Rejoice for end is near
You have gotten from there to here
